Why was I born?

I've gotten to the point where I just want to bleed out and make this go away. Again it would be fine if it was just different visuals, but the monsters and such are getting to me.

There was this fox thing again, only this time it was a bit smaller, but still pretty big. It looked adorable, but I'm guessing that was only there to deceive me.

Yeah it kind of looked like Kiara from Inuyasha, but only with one tail and different color scheme(red brown). Imagine having to slaughter a bunch of these cute things. Its...its making me anxious, its freaking me out.

I don't want to live like this, I just want to die. The circus girl from before keeps taunting me, reminding me at what I'm doing. That I'm a horrible person.

Am I a horrible person?

What else was I supposed to do? Let them kill me?
I've tried that.

They never kill me, they just bring about pain adding to this hell. I feel like killing them at least...spares me that.

You know?

I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanna die, but I can't.

I can't die.

Actually, I don't wish to die.

I wish I was never born.