Why was I born?

I've gotten to the point where I just want to bleed out and make this go away. Again it would be fine if it was just different visuals, but the monsters and such are getting to me.

There was this fox thing again, only this time it was a bit smaller, but still pretty big. It looked adorable, but I'm guessing that was only there to deceive me.

Yeah it kind of looked like Kiara from Inuyasha, but only with one tail and different color scheme(red brown). Imagine having to slaughter a bunch of these cute things. Its...its making me anxious, its freaking me out.

I don't want to live like this, I just want to die. The circus girl from before keeps taunting me, reminding me at what I'm doing. That I'm a horrible person.

Am I a horrible person?

What else was I supposed to do? Let them kill me?
I've tried that.

They never kill me, they just bring about pain adding to this hell. I feel like killing them at least...spares me that.

You know?

I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanna die, but I can't.

I can't die.

Actually, I don't wish to die.

I wish I was never born.

Freaking out

Everything is in anime style now and has been so for several days O_O. It flickers between the medival setting and just my modern Belgian town. It's why I've barely updated since new years. I keep seeing this circus girl everywhere. Since I like things to be visual I went on google image and tried to find a picture that looked similar to her.

Yeah, she kind of looks like that, minus the gun...I hope x.x
She keeps taunting and laughing at me and its freaking me out to be honest. I'm not sure what is happening. I can deal with my modern life to be an anime, its strange but I could adjust but...the medival thing. I have to battle a variety of monsters and its getting harder and harder.

Is this some kind of hallucination. Is it a brain tumor? What is it? X_X

HELP!
I am at my breaking point here QnQ

Happy New Year!

Well 2013 is off to an odd start o.O You know how the other day I got like this flash of being in an anime world? Well I've sort of spent all day like that, before it finally turning back to normal a few hours ago o.o

It started when I woke up and everything was, anime like. But it wasn't even like everything just switched viewpoint styles. I could have dealt with that, but it was like I literally entered a medival anime or something.

I woke up in like a hut or something, with like a fox thing outside waiting for me. When I say fox thing, I mean giant fox thing.

I assumed kind of that I was dreaming or hallucinating, but I could touch it and everything felt real. My katana was on the wall of the hut, which I took down and went on top of the fox.

Then I sort of blacked out, I came to for bits and bits at the time and most of the time I was battling some kind of monsters.

I then woke up, in my house on the floor o.o''

I'm not sure if this was real or not, but...it felt real.

It felt really real.

I'm freaked out guys!

I'm gonna go lay down, I leave you with another Touhou music video.